Aging Schmaging

Age. (Shudder). We spend our entire lives wanting be a number other than what we are. When we're young, we strive to be older, when we're older we strive to be younger (or we at least try to appear younger. This often yields disastrous results - a la Desperate Housewives of Orange County. What a train wreck).

It's not our fault really. Society and culture tell us to value our early twenties, and any other age group that falls outside of that is not considered to be as hip, beautiful, desirable or fun. Well, I am here to counteract this stereotype. I'm in my mid-twenties, and I am declaring that I'm officially not fun. I'm not afraid to embrace aging and all of the peculiarities that come with it.

What could I possibly know about aging, you say? Allow me to take you on a journey through my daily life. I am often accused of being an old soul by those older than me, or a party-pooper by my peers. The staff members at DList must think I'm an old maid since I'm the only one on the staff that doesn't enjoy night clubs and feels compelled to say, "Put some clothes on, young lady!" to every girl on the dance floor.

In all of my 25 years, I have developed quirks that have culminated to the elderly lifestyle I now lead. From this point on, we will now refer to them as Old Lady Habits.

1. Going to bed early, waking up early: I have been conditioned to this schedule against my will (working a full time job will do that). But I have now found it to be quite a convenient lifestyle. I get up at 5:30am Monday thru Friday, and no later than 8am on the weekend. I have time to workout, make a nice breakfast, and all of the stores are just opening so I can often beat crowds. I wake up in time to see the sunrise, which I had only seen in a drunken haze if I had stayed out that late in college. I feel more energetic when I'm on schedule, but if you keep me up until midnight during the week, I'll be worthless the next day.
   
2. No more clubs: I just don't go out much anymore. This is mostly due to the fact that I need to be fully alert at work. But I also feel that if I spend an entire day hungover during the weekend, I wasted a full day. I don't mind being sober, really. But if I do drink, it's usually at home, or done at happy hour. Why? Because...
3. I'm cheap: I live right above Quizno's and across the street from Papa John's, but I refuse to go to either unless I have coupons that I've clipped from the junk mail. You fools are missing out on some great deals! Buy one, get one free subs, and $7 pizzas. Also, you better believe I don't pay full price for my clothes. Thankfully Express is one of my favorite stores because they give you so many coupons. I hate to pass up a good deal, but even I have to admit, they are getting out of hand. I have to throw most of their coupons away because I just can't shop as much as they encourage me to. I once argued with the clerk at the counter so I could use five coupons together even though on the back it says "not be used in conjuction with other coupons." I won. The customer is always right! (Okay, maybe not all customers. Only me).
   
4. Checkbook/Day Planner: My boyfriend constantly makes fun of the fact that I still balance my checkbook. I do utilize online banking, but I like to know exactly how much money I have right after I spend it, and purchases don't always clear right away. Plus, I'm not always near a computer. No, I don't have a data plan on my cellphone. You call it mistrust of technology, I call it being in control. Rather than a swanky iPhone or Blackberry, I still carry around a huge Day Planner with tabs for each month and day, that weighs down my purse. Which brings me to my next habit...
5. The Big Yellow "Old Lady" Purse (I think it's cute. Shut up.):
   
6. Talk Radio: I enjoy my morning commute by listening to Kiro 97.3. I like to catch up on the news that happened between the time I went to bed the night before and the time I woke up for work. Yes, I am a news junkie. But I always have been. When your dream is to be a writer for your entire life, it's helpful to know what's going on in the world. I also like to listen to the Ron and Don show on my way home. Their banter just makes me giggle.
   
7. Game Shows: No matter what I'm doing, if Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy is on, everything stops and I give it my full attention. Shouting at the TV and cursing the idiots who think barracudas are fish have been a favorite pastime of mine since watching them with my grandma as a child.
   
8. Old Christmas Caroles: I used to think it was an old person thing to listen to Frank Sinatra, or Nat King Cole, because my grandma listened to it sometimes. But I've grown out of N'Sync's "Home for Christmas" and Hanson's "Snowed In." I love Old Blue Eyes along with the rest of the 65+ population. I start listening to Christmas music 24/7, beginning Black Friday until New Year's Eve. This year, my new favorite rendition of Jingle Bells is by Bing Crosby. It's a ragtime ditty that sparks an innate reaction to do the jitter bug and mimic his ragtime crooning. If I wasn't a minority, I would love to go back in time to this era.
   
9. Vertigo: I get pretty dizzy every so often. The kind of vertigo I have is caused by rocks in my ear canals floating around and getting stuck in places they shouldn't. Before you call me a freak, everyone has little rocks in their ears. Google ear rocks if you don't believe me. Anyway, my Physical Therapist (yes I go to physical therapy to treat it) said I am the youngest patient he's ever treated for this. "Usually my patients receiving this treatment are 70+. No one knows why, but this just usually occurs more when you get older..." well here I am - your overachiever.
   
10. I always see the Old Lady first :)
    

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but don't worry - I take a vitamin D and calcium supplements to prevent osteoporosis. They won't break that easily.