You set out in life with a plan or at least some outline or rough draft of how it's supposed to go. My plan was crafted in my head long before I moved out of my parents house. In 8th grade, I decided that I was disowning my suburban upbringing. I cursed every BMW, Audi or pretentious car that drove by (not that we ever owned one, I just despised those that had them), lied when people asked me where I was from, and avidly wrote about what a death trap the suburbs were in the school newspaper.
My plan was to move to New York to become a leading journalist for a magazine (in 8th grade, this magazine was CosmoGirl). I was to live the big city life, in the center of what I thought was the world, with my husband Taylor Hanson (thank GOD this was not in the stars for me. You should have seen my embarrassing Hanson shrine in my childhood bedroom...gag!). I was going to live humbly in the city, and I was going to never ever ever live in a suburb again.
Funny how things change.
Not only do I live in a suburb, I also do hot yoga, enjoy driving my boyfriend's Audi (because I'm too cheap to buy one myself), and I purchase organic dog food for my puppy, who also has it's own trainer. There is too much about me that screams yuppy. A little too yuppy for comfort. As I like to tell my friends, the Eastside has claimed yet another victim.
So what happened?
It was quite simple really - a boy I fancied refused to live in the city so I followed him to the suburbs. Plus it was five minutes away from work. The end.
While I cursed the suburbs for most of my life, I have found that living here is not all that bad. I definitely miss the hustle and bustle of city life, but I have found that it doesn't mean I'm selling my soul to the devil because I can hear birds chirping when I wake up. In fact, it's a pretty nice change from the sirens that I was accustomed to hearing.
I still think driving an Audi is pretentious (and even named my boyfriend's car Andersson because it sounded snotty). But I have to admit that it is a beautiful car! I feel power behind that steering wheel and just want to floor it everywhere I go. It's a fun car. Who can say that about driving a Ford Focus? I sure as hell can't. I have to floor it to go 5mph while screaming "Yabba dabba do!"
The suburbs also take the cake when going to the grocery store. Not only are the stores bigger, but getting there is not this big, stressful, pay-for-parking-in-a-garage-while-police-direct-traffic event. In Seattle, it is. I can park my car for free, get in and get out and still have the rest of my day to go do something.
Ultimately, I like living in the suburbs because I feel like I have time to live my life. Yes things are slower, and my neighbors are probably Republicans, but as long as they're friendly, I could care less. However, if you look at me the wrong way, you will find out I'm from Tacoma real quick (sorry it's a habit...Gig Harbor.)
But don't worry, kids. I'm not so far gone yet. I'm still not too domestic, as my cooking has not improved a lick since I declared I would improve for my new year's resolution (so therefore my boyfriend is the cook), I ensured we didn't find a place in the middle of Stepford (only a mile outside of it), and I started wearing less makeup (mainly because I'm lazy and want to sleep in more during the week). Cut me some slack!
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but at least I didn't get a chihuahua to carry around in my purse. Instead, I got a Shiba Inu to enter into dog shows!
Sike!
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