I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike!

I once slid under a parked van while riding my pink Huffy. I don't think you could do that on this bike. Image from here.

 I did it – I lasted for a whole 15 minutes on the recumbent bike today. Never thought I’d be so excited over 15 minutes of stationary biking in my life. But this whole healing process is forcing me to appreciate even the slightest improvement in mobility. I’m learning that patience truly is a virtue. And I really don’t want to eff up my hip in the process of trying to heal it. 


My dermatologist has some other suspicions about my health and is having me evaluated by a rheumatologist on my 27^th birthday. Nothing rings in another year older better than an arthritis evaluation. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they find nothing, but it is yet another mark on my “You Know You’re Approaching Senior Citizenship When…” checklist. 


My mom brought up a good point though – she said “You’re only as old as you feel, and if you keep convincing yourself you’re old, you’re going to start feeling it too. So quit it! Just focus on healing your hip and let that be the end of it.”


She always was the voice of reason. Except for this one time. 


My inner-fat kid has now hijacked the rest of this post: 


Since mobility has been limited, I’ve attempted to improve my diet. Attempted is the key word in that sentence. My attempts keep getting foiled by sweets. I was doing well until I made the decision to bake pumpkin cookies with browned butter frosting over the weekend. It became dinner one night, and after sneaking him a bite, Bowser is now addicted as well. Boyfriend was in LA at a big nerd fest, so he was unable to cook for me like usual (I know – I totally lucked out with a cooking bf). I’m pretty much a disaster in the kitchen if whatever I’m attempting to cook doesn’t call for at least one cup of sugar. And that’s why my meals consisted of fruity pebbles and beef jerky before Boyfriend and I moved in together. 


Yesterday, I kept telling myself, “Today is the day! I’m going to eat an apple and not candy.” And then my department got pumpkin pie for my upcoming birthday. And you KNOW I don’t even try to resist pumpkin pie. Girl, are you crazy? Who turns down a piece of pumpkin pie?


Today I’ve been eating healthy, despite stopping by the store after work so I could get all the ingredients to make these pumpkin muffins (Don’t hate - I can’t let my can of pumpkin go to waste, okay?) YUM. I’m going to bring them into work though so they’re not laying around my house. I’ll only eat one…okay two max. 


Sticks and stones may break my bones, but stationary bikes and sweets will always bring me joy.

So...does that make me a z-list celebrity?

In case you find yourself laying around this weekend, Anna Newell Jones of And Then She Saved was a guest on the Nate Berkus show yesterday! I did a guest post for her in July.You can watch the episode online. She's got some great tips on the show, and on her blog. Check it out!

Si se puede!

This has got to be the most frightening rendition of Humpty that I've ever seen. Image from here.

Good news! I may not be banned from running forever after all. I went to see my orthopedic surgeon today (who is now my new bff) and he gave me a set of exercises to start my rehabilitation: Three different stretches and a series of stationary bike workouts. The ultimate goal is to be able to bike for 30 minutes without pain, and then advance to the elliptical. This whole process will take four months (which is a bit agonizing to me, being that I would train for a half marathon in less time than that). My first workout (tomorrow) will be a whopping 10 minutes long. But, you gotta start somewhere. And I can’t tell you how long I’ve been waiting to haul my gym bag around again.

My new bff asked, “What are your fitness goals? How active do you want to be?”

I said, “Well, I know it’s preferred that I stick to more low-impact activities, but I really would like to get back to running if I could.”

He said, “Yes, we do recommend low impact activities, but if you want to get back into running, we can make that happen. Let’s see how you are doing at the four-month mark and if you’re ready, I can give you a new set of exercises to begin preparing your muscles for running again.”

MUSIC TO MY EARS! The hills are aliiiiive with the sound of wheezing from a person who hasn't run in a long time.

Although, I have to say, I don’t plan to do anything more than the occasional 5k. The amount of running needed to train for a half marathon is just too much for my old lady hips to take. I don’t want to ever have to go through hip surgery again, but I do want to feel the exhilaration of crossing a finish line. I miss that adrenaline rush more than anything. I also miss fitting into a decently-sized pair of jeans. I want nothing more than to bury my new jeans fat girl pants in the corner of my closet, never to be seen again.

Of course, before I left my appointment I tripped and caught myself right in front of the doctor, who said, “Oh no. Don’t do that now.” A warning not to derail my recovery.

My new bff hasn’t known me all that long to realize that tripping and displaying a complete lack of grace is only my nature. Sigh. Let’s hope I don’t get the best myself before any of this rehab can commence.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but I will see to it that humpty dumpty can be put back together again.

A second post about my muffin top

A funeral was held in my closet this weekend. I spent my Sunday figuring out which garments no longer fit properly, and to my dismay, half of my wardrobe landed in the "too fat to wear" pile. I tried on every pair of jeans I own. About three of them give me an acceptable muffin-top. By acceptable, I mean I can somewhat cover it with a baggy top without showing the world my best troll doll impression. The other 10 pairs were in the "Costco-sized muffin top" category that no amount of fabric can conceal.

Alas, I lit candles and said a prayer for the garments that had to be shoved to the deep recesses of my closet, hoping that they would be safe from moths until the day they could graduate to the acceptable muffin-top pile. The upside is, I won't have to spend much on a Halloween costume. I can just wear my tightest pair of jeans, a belly shirt, and tape some blueberries to my belly and go as a Costco bakery item.

I recently removed all forms of physical activity from my facebook profile, being as I am such a danger to myself that any sort of movement is considered risky. But the real nail in the coffin was the new addition to my facebook interests: sweatpants. Running, yoga, hiking, all swapped for the one interest/activity that I can safely partake in.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but hip injuries will force couch potato-itis on you.