Disgusting eye rapist
As I was laying poolside, relaxing and most likely taking in irreversible sun damage which will lead to melanoma in five years, I experienced the unmistakable feeling of eyes on me. Almost at once, I put down my heavy reading (Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea) to find the eyes of my sunbathing neighbor boring into me. He was sitting directly in front of me, which required him to lay his chair back all the way down and turn backwards to accomplish his creepery. This guy not only was Powder's doppelganger, but was somehow some kind of albino hybrid with a hairy back.
But this was not some ordinary hairy back. He had uneven tufts of hair that looked as though they had been attached by a glue stick. Because he insisted on hitting every branch on the way down from the ugly tree, he also proudly donned a faded Tasmanian devil tattoo that looked as though it had been done in his favorite crayola colors. This no less, was located above the last tuft of hair on his shoulder. Sexy beast. I attract the best of them.
After several minutes of being uncomfortably eye raped, I had had enough. "Excuse me!" I said in a tone that made it obvious that his forcible staring was not consensual. Luckily, Powder was smart and turned around before he ignited Muhana Ali. I'm sure he did not want to see the Vegas version of her. I could just imagine the radio calls, "Security, do you copy?! Albino curb stomping at the wave pool. I repeat! Albino curb stomping at wave pool!"
Smart, Powder.
I am off to explore more of what the city has to offer me the third time around. I definitely have more vacation- I mean work week stories up my sleeve, which I will indulge you later. For now, I bid you adieu.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but the world is safer without igniting Vegas Muhana Ali.
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