Snap into a Slim Jim! Or not.

While my sister and I rarely got along when we were younger, we have always been able to bond over our similar sense of humor. We laugh at things that most people would not find funny. At all.

Take today for example, I'm coming home from the airport, and I see a scummy, pink building with the sign "Seatac Crest Motel." Before I could even get my joke out, I started giggling. My co-worker looked at me, wondering what was entertaining me so. I burst, "They should just change the 'e' in Crest to a 'u' and call it what it really is: Seatac Crust!" I started cracking up to the point where I was almost guffawing, until I realized my co-worker thought this was the stupidest thing that has ever come out of my mouth.

I couldn't exactly say, "Well, my sister would have been rolling!" So I awkwardly tried to stop laughing (and couldn't) and would explode again every few seconds. This continued for about five minutes. When I finally stopped, I just put my head down in shame.

Anyway, one shared moment of hilarity occurred when my sister and I were about 5 and 8 years old respectively. We thought the recently invented Slim Jim commercials were hysterical. Who wouldn't chuckle at a man with a pepperoni stick on his head that shouted EAT ME! in everyone's face?

Then, it hit us like a bolt of lightening, "What if WE decided to go around yelling 'EAT ME!!'? We'll be just as funny!"

The perfect opportunity arose itself when my poor mother announced she was taking us grocery shopping later that day. We bounced off the walls in anticipation of our newly-developed social experiment. People were going to think we were the funniest kids in town!

We almost lost our privilege to go with Mom to the store because we were so hyper during the day. Reluctantly, my mom still let us go. We finally arrived at the store after many, "are we there yets" and "are we there yet nows." When I was old enough to understand distance, I discovered the grocery store was only 2.5 miles from my parents house. That must have been painful for my mom. She was already regretting taking us with her.

My sister and I trailed my mom as she pushed the shopping cart down the spice aisle. Ready. Aim. "EAT ME!!!!!!"

We startled nearby shoppers who looked at us quizzically, and then quickly shot glances at my mother that I did not understand at that age. Maybe they just didn't hear it right. In unison again we cried, "EAT ME!!!"

My mom turned around and told us to be quiet. Why wasn't anyone laughing?

Even though our experiment was clearly failing, we just decided to continue entertaining ourselves, "EAT ME! EAT ME!"

We tried different tones, pitches and volumes as we trotted behind our mother. It began to be clear that we were irritating her, which only fueled the fire. It was now a game of "let's see how mad we can make Mom."

Finally, my mom whipped around. "You know, you guys are saying something really dirty!" she hissed. "I'm going to ask you one more time to stop yelling in this grocery store."

"Yes, Mom..." we said looking down, as if we were ashamed, although we both knew that would not be the last outburst before we left.

When it became clear that our next stop was the cash register, my sister and I looked at each other in agreement and shouted our proudest, loudest and final "EAT ME!!!!!!!!!!!" It reverberated against the walls of Safeway. But not as loud as my mother's response, which caused the entire store to go silent: "IT MEANS LICK MY TWAT!!! SHUT YOUR MOUTHS!!!!!!"

What? You mean- the Slim Jim guy was really saying...WHAT?! Why would he say that?! On top of my joke turning into a pile of ashes on the floor of Safeway, I suddenly noticed...Oh god. Yup. I wasn't dreaming. The entire store was looking at us. Why didn't she save us from this humiliation?

What surprised us, was that my mom seemed suddenly embarrassed "I'm sorry." She said red-faced to shoppers who had just gotten the guts to walk again, but could not resist giving my mom the "bad parent" dagger eyes. What was going on? We were in trouble but she was apologizing? This was kind of cool actually. But why were people looking at her?

I didn't get it. Until much later. And we finally apologized to my mom for embarrassing her. Luckily, we can all laugh about it now, but my mom still gets kind of mad when we bring it up. Sorry mom :)

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Slim Jim's will publicly humiliate your mother.