The Trouble With Grease Monkeys

"All fixed! That'll be $500,000." (photo from here)

If there is anything I hate more than paying for groceries is car repairs. I absolutely abhor the entire process from calling the repair shop to having to adjust my driver’s seat after some grease monkeys been in it. There is always some “surprise” repair that needs to be done which 90 percent of the time is a crock of bull.

As a woman, it is even more frustrating going to the repair shop because you can just see the condescending expression on the mechanic’s face before you even reach the counter to say hi. In my experience, being female = ten times the BS repairs that “really should be done or your car is going to explode on the freeway.”

For the past six years, I have been driving my cruddy little Ford Focus, which is inappropriately named Fabio – I thought it was sexy at the time I bought it, compared to the 1980s box I was driving before. Last week, I finally had work done to it that I had been putting off for oh…a year. I planned to buy a brand-spankin’, new car this year and didn’t want to put any more money into Fabio. Since I also have plans of Boyfriend proposing to me and buying a house together (like how that was worded?), I decided to bite the bullet and try to make Fabio last a little longer.

The previous mechanic who had worked on my car (and told me they could not drive me back to work after saying they could on the phone, forcing me to call a coworker to rescue me) gave me a laundry list of things that supposedly needed fixing. After having driven successfully sans breakdown for over a year without doing any of their “emergency” repairs, I questioned their reputation.

Confirming my sneaking suspicion that I was being played, I finally took my car in to get my brakes done. As I was begrudgingly forking over my hard-earned cash, I said, “I know I have a lot more work to get done to Fab-I mean my car.” To which the mechanic replied, “What do you need to get done? We did a full inspection and there’s nothing else wrong. Your car is in great shape.”

He showed me their inspection checklist to prove what a thorough job they did and even showed some areas that may need repairs eventually, but aren’t near the recommended stage yet. I actually was going to survive getting from A to B.

I told him even though they were on the pricier side repair shops, I appreciated that kind of honesty when dealing with my car and I certainly would be returning. He replied, “There’s no sense in doing dishonest work – it doesn’t serve anyone involved.” FINALLY! A mechanic who gets it! And didn’t treat me like a dumbass for having a kookah. I think we found a match.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I may have found one grease monkey that can be trusted…until the next repair.

It's JERSDAY!!!

The next Jersey Shore cast member...ew. image found here.

Feeling cruddy today - there's something nasty going around right now. My head feels like you could pop it with a pin, my face is running, and it feels like my glands are the size of baseballs. The upside: there's a Jersey Shore marathon on and I'm indulging my inner guidette. I'm genuinely sad that tonight is the finale. I look forward to my weekly brain drain of Jersey Shore every Jersday, and I'm sad that this season is ending. I also may or may not have entered a contest for Boyfriend and I to have dinner with Snooki and Vinny. I know. This is getting slightly out of control. -sigh- what other bad reality shows can I watch until the next season begins?

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but reality tv is a great cold remedy.

A Case of the Mondays

photo found here.

Sadly, I feel like the movie Office Space accurately depicts my work life. I found this Onion article and it couldn't be more fitting for my daily 9 to 5:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/companys-employees-spend-entire-day-touching-base,19776/

This is why I find such refuge in Sticks and Stones. Enjoy!

Bad News Bears

 I turn into a bearsharktopus when Muhana Ali fails to get the job done.

I had a rather stressful past week:

• Boyfriend got in a car wreck (he's okay!)
• got super scared for my relatives in Japan (they're okay!)
• and had a rough week at work (not okay.)

So it came as no surprise that I found myself at the bar last Friday night, commiserating with my man over a few beers. Then the next day, I woke up sick - and not from too much beer (I only had two). -sigh- It was really just the cherry on top.

In the spirit of bad news, I thought I'd use this entry give you an update on my hip, as I had promised to do many moons ago. I went to a rehabilitation specialist today, who pretty much told me everything I already knew - either go get another MRI with a dye injection (because they failed to do it with dye the first time, even though I asked for dye every step of the way, and the MRI came up inconclusive- no shit), or begin a series of cortisone injections with the hope that we're just treating inflammation. I chose option one, because I've been waiting since...oh OCTOBER...to figure out what is wrong with my hip. If I were a professional athlete, I would have been fixed and recovered by now. This is ridiculous!

The doc did say, that if they do find the cartilage tear that everyone suspects I have, he may not be able to help and I'll have to get another referral to an orthopedic surgeon, and he's pretty confident that I'll have to have surgery on it, because cartilage tears don't repair themselves.

Let's stop for a second and take a trip down memory lane: All of what was said to me today was told to me by my physical therapist back in January when things started really going south with my hip. But my primary care physician has been the one sending me to all of these different doctors who may not even be able to help me, and ordering tests that don't detect what we're after. They are just working the system, trying to squeeze more money from my health insurance provider. It's been so frustrating! More so than the actual hip pain. Anyway, I'm hoping MRI number two will just put me on the path I should have been on all along and they can finally fix my good-for-nothing hip.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I'm about to break some if I get the run around one more time!

Lessons From a Crazy Dog Lady

Day two as a dog owner. The fun was just beginning.

"Hapiness is a warm puppy." – Charles M. Schulz

Happy Friday! Right now, I’m reading a great book called A Dog’s Purpose, and it inspired me to write about my pooch (as if I need much prompting). Those who know me personally are probably sick of hearing about little Bowsie. It’s not that I don’t notice your eyes glazing over – I don’t care that you don’t care, because you’re going to listen to me anyway :) From Bowser’s own facebook fanpage, to his permanent spot in our queen-size, memory foam bed, Bowser most certainly rules the roost.

It’s been almost a full year since we brought home our Shiba Inu . Having a dog is the best thing that has ever happened to me (besides meeting Boyfriend of course). Even though we had adventurous beginnings, Bowser has changed both of our lives for the better and has brought about some pawsitive (oh yes I went there) changes and taught us valuable life lessons.

Here are just some of the things I've learned over the last year:

10. Owning a dog makes you obsessed with all things dog: Okay, maybe this one just pertains to me and not all dog owners, I read tons of dog-related material, watch dog shows and yes…I just finished listening to a “pawdcast.” Are you really surprised that my power animal is a dog? You should be scared that I even looked up my power animal to begin with.

9. People tend to be nicer if you’re with a dog: Random people come up to me all the time and want to pet Bowser and start a conversation. I don’t mind, really. If someone had randomly walked up to me just to chat before I had Bowser, I would have been really creeped out. Something about a dog neutralizes even the most awkward social settings. The neighbors that never spoke a word to our family despite having lived next door for decades suddenly broke their silence when they saw me walking Bowser on a recent visit. Of course, they wanted to talk dog.

8. Dogs introduce you to new friends: I’ve befriended just about all of our neighbors with dogs (except for the ones with dogs that don’t get along with Bowser – our dogs’ social conflicts have crossed into human territory). We get together for play dates so our dogs can hang out, and only know each other by our dogs’ names: Spot’s Mom and Dad, Bowser’s Crazy Mom. We are like-minded people that have somehow found ourselves in some kind of dog cult.

7. Dogs make you more responsible: My life B.B. (Before Bowser) was more adventurous and prone to impromptu nights on the town involving alcoholic binges. Now, A.B. (After Bowser) I can’t leave more than half a day without feeling guilty that I left the pooch solo. I have to plan wild nights out ahead of time, or make other arrangements for the dog. And yes, he has gone to doggy day camp. It really is like having a kid, and this is as close as I’m willing to get to motherhood for the time being. You can’t leave your kid in a cage while you go to work, although that would significantly reduce the cost of childcare.

6. Dogs make you more compassionate: B.B., I would watch those Sarah McLachlan commercials with the abused dogs and not even flinch. A.B., I have to change the channel. I feel like Brian the dog on Family Guy when he discovers he has a son “Until you have a child. UNTIL. YOU. HAVE. A. CHILD. YOU HAVE NO IDEA!” I also find myself interested in other animals in a way that I wasn’t before. It’s no surprise that our TV is usually parked on Animal Planet.

5. Dogs make you more affectionate: I used to think that people who let their dogs kiss them on the mouth were sick, sick people. And now, I love Bowsie kisses – even on the mouth. He gets hugs. He gets cuddled. And don’t get me started on the puppy dog eyes - they can make anyone melt. Bowser is just like that cat in Shrek – he knows how to turn on the charm at the most convenient of times. During dinner, you’ll find his big brown eyes looking up at you, resting his chin softly in your lap, periodically looking from your plate to you. Even though he just ate, it’s hard to resist giving him a nibble of your dinner.

4. Dogs make you celebrate everything: When we first got Bowser, our trainer told me that I wasn’t talking to him in a very encouraging tone when he did something good. I learned what was referred to as “having a dog party.” You have to speak to them in a tone that sounds like they just did the best thing in the entire world, even its something like a taking a shit. And it worked. I learned that even dog crap deserves a dog party.

3. Dogs make you forgive more readily: I have lost many items since owning a dog. While I have definitely reprimanded him for the shoes, computer cords, books, dvds, etc., that are no longer in my possession, you realize that those are not the important things in life. They need to understand that their actions were not okay, but you both get over it as soon as he gives you a kiss. And then you learn to dog-proof your house.

2. Dogs make you more patient: Training a puppy took a level of patience I didn’t know I possessed. You think it’s just a matter of repeating a few simple commands to train a dog, but it’s a matter of committing (and sacrificing) your time and changing your schedule to accommodate caring for a baby animal. This means getting your ass out of bed at 4 a.m. because they’re whining to go potty, or going on a long walk in the rain, even though you want nothing more than to lay on the couch in your sweats. Or paying $80 at the dry cleaners because they had accidents on both of your down comforters – and realizing it’s your fault because you failed to take them out before heading to bed. Owning a dog is not like owning a cute fashion accessory that would be nice to have. Owning a dog becomes a part of your lifestyle.

1. Dogs make you appreciate the smaller things in life: Coming home to a puppy that’s excited to see you, is absolutely the best thing in the world. It’s instant appreciation after a day of working your butt off and not getting recognized for it. The stress of work melts away, and you realize it doesn’t define your life. Even though getting jumped on and licked in the face isn’t the best dog behavior to encourage, it reminds you that you’re appreciated and loved no matter what. Bowser made me realize that showing appreciation is really the key to just about any relationship, canine or human. Simply saying thank you, or I love you, or I noticed that you did “____”, really makes a difference in relationship satisfaction.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but if a puppy was there when they broke, it probably wouldn’t hurt as bad.