11 Lessons Learned from Snowpocalypse 2012

Do take your dog out for a frolic in the snow :)

Many of you are either experiencing, or have heard about the Pacific Northwest's visit from Old Man Winter. We were just talking about what a mild winter it's been a few weeks ago, and now Karma bit us in the butt. If this happens to you, take heed:

1. Don't buy a bunch of fresh food when the news anchors start freaking out about a massive snow storm. The power is going to go out and you're going to get pissed when everything spoils. 
2. Sticking to weight watchers during a power outage is next to impossible if you can't open your fridge. Cheetos, beef jerky, Doritos and pecans will be your survival foods. There goes your points for the month. 
3. If the power is flickering, quickly (and I mean QUICKLY) make a pot of coffee or else you'll suffer massive headaches and become a massive bitch until the power comes back on. Not fun for any party involved. 
4. Don't wait until 3pm to go to the only, barely-functioning grocery store in town and expect to find anything you need, never mind a propane camping stove. Or make sure you buy/rent a place with a gas range (FML).  
5. Buy de-icer and keep it in your garage. Even though you have a four-wheel drive vehicle, it's useless if there's a thick sheet of ice sealing it shut. Yeah. Not going anywhere. 
6. Have board games, cards and books on hand. That way you don't get upset about having to stare at your significant other's face during a 14-hour blackout. 
7. Invest in some decent snow boots, even if you live in a region that doesn't typically receive much snow. You'll be thankful for four days each year. 
8. Don't attempt to go to work even though you know the power is out there. You'll get sent home right after you spent 30 minutes trying not to die on the down-hill, icy walk there. 
9. Thank God for gas fireplaces. Seriously. Thank you, God! 
10. Stay away from trees/buildings that are heavy with icicles. You might get staked! (This didn't actually happen to me, but I saw many falling and thought, "Glad I'm not hanging out under that!")
11. I think the bottom line is that you should always have an emergency kit. You'll be so glad you're prepared for something even as simple as a blackout in a snow/ice storm, while everyone else is left scrambling for food and Starbucks Iced VIA to survive (this is Seattle after all). 

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but snow belongs in the mountains and not at my house.