Things that go "UGH!" in the night

 This woman brings a whole new meaning to the term "mouth breather."

Alas, the adventures of living with my significant other begin. The hardest adjustment has been learning to sleep with each other in the bed each night. While this isn't exactly a brand new experience, we both like to sprawl out, hog the sheets and take over every square inch of the queen-size bed.

Up until now, it wasn't so hard to adjust to limited bed space - it occurred on a weekend-only basis. Now that this is a nightly occurrence, this has become a problem. Limbs get shoved left and right, I scoot over to get away from his face that has suddenly become only inches away from mine, mouth hanging open, spraying the unquestionable scent of bacteria cells forming the early stages of morning breath.

Ugh.

Additionally, I am not one of those people that can fall asleep cuddling in her lover's arms. If you so much as have your toe touching me, I'm instantly awake and shoving you away from me. I absolutely cannot sleep with someone making contact with me in any way. 

Don't get me wrong. I'm just as big of a bed nuisance. I like to claim my spot right in the middle, and I often wake to him trying to scoot away from me as far as the bed will possibly allow (which isn't far). All I have to say, is that I really don't understand the couples that can comfortably sleep on a full-size bed. I'm convinced a king bed is in our future.


As I candidly explained in a previous blog entry, I'm a sleep talker (and walker, although this hasn't occurred in over a decade). This habit has gone unchanged with the new living situation.

The second night that we were adjusting to having company in the bed, he came in from a late night of playing his beloved video game. I had been in a dead sleep, trying to get in my z's before I was forced to toss and turn the rest of the night.


My boyfriend settled in, got in a comfortable position, and began to surrender himself to the comfort of sleep. Just before he was completely under, I yelled, "UGH!! LOUD BREATHIIIIING!!" and angrily rolled over, huffing and puffing.

I have no recollection of this whatsoever. He was instantly awake and laughing at me. He is used to me angrily huffing when he comes into the room when I'm sleeping, but I haven't formed an audible sleep-talking sentence for him like this in quite some time.


But he does breath loudly when he's sleeping. If he hasn't broken out into a full on snore, the air is escaping his nostrils at a force equal to Hurricane Katrina. Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating, but my hair is fluttering in his wind. It's like sleeping next to a fan.


As much as I love telling you of all our misadventures, I'm happy to report that the sleeping situation is getting better. We've slowly but surely began getting used to each other in the bed, as I am sleeping soundly through the night, and through the unquestionable heavy breathing that's occurring around me.


Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but I'll always cherish the days when I had a queen bed to myself.