I wrote a total of 45 words worth of story (if you can even call it that) at work today. It seemed like the most ardous article of my life. I forgot why it's totally useless to go to work on your birthday, even if it falls on a Thursday. I was absolutely the least productive member of my team, and I didn't even have a good excuse like drinking last night. I took tomorrow off to have a three day weekend, which I'm sure I'll be enjoying in all of its glory. But it's TOMORROW.
Instead I'm sitting in my cubicle watching it rain on Red Robin (my lovely view), making sure the internet still works, and wracking my brain to write the most incredible 45-word blurb known to man. And I pretty much just vomitted on a word doc and put it in the "done" folder.
I've been getting up to go to the water fountain every five minutes, starting conversations with my co-workers about non-work-related things (which include why the greek god Kronos was famous), continuing these conversations past the point of comfort for the sake of not returning to my computer screen, wandering around the halls and pretending I'm going to important meetings, creating odd meeting names and inviting people on outlook to them (which include "Mustache Shaving Event" (this is a REAL story I will be covering)) -- anything to NOT WORK even though I'm AT work.
I also showed up late, took a late lunch and am leaving at my normal time. It's okay though because I'm paid for the projects I complete and not the hours I'm at work -- which I can't say I even did THAT today.
With the way things are going, I'm on my way to being promoted to head of our department.
So lesson learned - in order to save my sanity, and the company payroll, I will not be showing up to work on my birthday next year.
Sticks and Stones may break your bones, but stay home and party like a rockstar.
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