An Encounter with Shiba Inu Enthusiasts

Prudence's baby photo (found here).

For those that know me (and those that don’t) it’s pretty obvious that I’m crazy about my dog Bowser. I’ve been teased for the organic, grain-free dog food he eats and the abundance of toys you’ll find littered throughout my house. I’ve owned up to being a crazy dog lady.

But I recently met my match.

A few weeks ago, I went to my very first Shiba Inu Enthusiasts Club (I know. Keep laughing.). It’s basically a Shiba Inu play date at a dog park, and nothing more (okay? gawd.). I thought it would be interesting to see how Bowser interacted with his own breed and to see all the cute little Shibas running around. But what I really got was my first taste of true crazy dog people.

Within the first few minutes of being there, one grown Shiba attacked a little puppy Shiba. Bowser was really sweet and went over and started licking the trembling puppy who was hiding underneath a bench.

That’s when the big ring leader of the Shiba clan emerged from her self-imposed throne. She marched over and bitched out the owners of the attacking adult Shiba. First of all, I agree that the dog shouldn’t have bitten the puppy, but what the hell is a 13-week puppy doing at a dog park in the first place? At that age, they’re not even completely vaccinated and could contract all kinds of diseases. They really should be socializing with other puppies or at least dogs their own size.

The ring leader lady, whom I’ll name Prudence, promptly asked the couple to leave and kept saying, “This is no place for aggressive behavior!” When the couple tried to calmly talk to Prudence about it, by saying things like, “I appreciate your comments-“ Prudence only began to yell, “No you don’t! You don’t appreciate anything I’m saying!”

It got really awkward amongst everyone in the park. The couple left with their Shiba and  big Prudence slowly rotated to face the crowd of onlookers. “EXCUSE ME! CAN I GET EVERYONE’S ATTENTION?  THIS IS NOT THE PLACE TO CORRECT AGGRESSIVE BEHAVIOR. WE’RE ALL HERE TO HAVE FUN. I WAS TRYING TO BE SO, SO NICE TO THAT COUPLE AND THEY WERE JUST A COUPLE OF SMART MOUTHS - ”

Smart mouths. As though they were her children. That’s when I stopped listening because Bowser was promptly taking a dump in the corner of the park. These snarky people were totally getting on my nerves.

After that, I was speaking with the owners of the victimized puppy who decided to stay at the dog park while keeping the puppy in their coat. I talked to a few other owners – some seemed nice, others more psychotic than Prudence the ring leader.

I felt like I stepped on to the set of Best in Show, except it was real life. This wasn’t some dog show mockumentary – this was dog owner hell. I left asking myself, “Am I really like that?”

But it gets better. I happened to be leaving at the same time as Prudence who stopped me and said, “Ooooh I like the coloring on your Shiba. What’s his name?”

“Bowser,” I replied. “I like yours too.” Noticing it had an odd, dark patch of hair on its back, I asked, “Oh did your Shiba used to be a bit darker? My dog lightened up a lot after we got him, too.”

“NO. It’s a RED. SHIBA.” Apparently my question stressed her out. Being a bitch really was completely effortless for her.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

She goes, “IT’S. A. SHE. MY SHIBA. IS. A. SHE.” Apparently these questions were just about to send her over the edge.

“Sorry,” I said without meaning it. “What’s HER name?”

I don’t even remember what she said because I really didn’t give a shit. “I’m not really a witch you know,” Prudence said to me – she must have sensed my apathy and lack of desire to ever return to her circus of psycho dog owners. “But those people really shouldn’t have been bringing their aggressive dog here.”

Really? She was still trying to get people on her side of the whole damn dog fight? Her dog wasn't even involved! I felt like it wouldn’t have been a stretch for her to ask everyone to grab a pitch fork and chase the couple with the aggressive dog out of the damn city. This was starting to get medieval and I’m just not cut out for that period in time.

Needless to say, that will probably be the last Enthusiast Club I go to – unless I’m lacking material for another juicy post. I’m happy sticking to the regular dog parks where people stand around and ignore each other.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but stay away from any club with the word “enthusiasts” in it. It translates to “mentally ill.”