A post about my upper lip

Oh Frieda. Photo from here. 

I have been working on a meaningful post inspired by a book I recently read, but it's a bit daunting to work on. I want to get it just right, and since I'm overloaded with writing at work, you'll just have to satiate your craving with this post that just flew out of my ass:

The lady that had the privilege of waxing my upper lip today took one look at my TOMS and said, "Those are...interesting shoes."

I'm always one to think of comebacks thirty minutes after the fact. What I would have said was, "That's an... interesting face." ( Because that would have showed her!)

Instead I said, "Oh they're TOMS."

She says all snobby (Insert high pitched mocking voice), "What's that?"

I say, "You buy a pair of TOMS shoes and TOMS donates a pair to a child in need."

She goes, "Oh."

End of conversation.

Apparently philanthropy is a foreign subject in her world.

She proceeded to ask if I had any children. I said no. She asked if I had done anything exciting yet this summer. I said no. She then asked if I had a dog. I said yes. It was like she was going through all of her awkward conversation starters to try to fill the silence that she created by judging my shoes.

Just shut up and wax my lip. I'm not trying to become best friends. I just want to not look like Frieda Kahlo's stunt double.

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but stick to salons you know for your upper lip needs.