I wanna be a guidette!

I am one of those people that try to avoid mass cultural phenomenons just to avoid them. That way, I can say I'm a non-conformist. Anything that pop culture flocks to, I try hard to run the other way. I'll admit, I am not unique in my avoidance of cultural conformity. Just another cog in the machine of self-proclaimed non-conformists.

I will also admit that when it comes to MTV's Jersey Shore, I am epic failing at non-conforming. Don't worry - I'm not squeezing the last drop of fake tanner out of the tube, and I only wear my hair in the "poof" every once in awhile (which, I invented, Snookie!). But there is something about the douche-baggery that oozes from that show that keeps my eyes glued to the screen, even if its a rerun that I've seen forty times.

Something about vain people with low IQs, mixed with fake tanner, a Bowflex and huge egos became the perfect recipe for pop culture cocaine. Jersey Shore is everywhere in the headlines, but there is also a merchandising effort being launched that someone is capitalizing on as well (click hear for guido gear!).

However, not all people are buying into the allure of the Shore. Some people are up in arms that this show is even on, angry over the Italian-American stereotypes being portrayed. Some are even going as far as making death threats to keep it off the air (which in itself is only perpetuating the Italian stereotypes). Anti-Jersey Shore-ers claim it would never fly if you put another group of people of a different ethnicity in its place. While I completely understand this argument, there are also a lot of holes in it.

First of all, Italian-Americans are not really considered a protected class. Secondly, all other ethnicities are frequently, and have been historically portrayed in stereotypical roles in mass media (e.g., minstrel shows, Disney movies, Chapelle Show, Fresh Prince, All American Girl, Mind of Mencia, all the token Black characters that make their required appearance in shows and movies...I can go on if you'd like). I'm sorry Italians, but it's your turn. And I'm going to savor this moment.

The one question I want answered is, how the hell did they find these people? I'm sure much of this show is staged, much like the rest of MTV's "quality" reality shows, but to be willingly broadcast on national television as meat-heads and street walkers just seems like a desperate attempt at fame. But then again, that's nothing out of the ordinary for any reality show. So why are we still addicted to this reality show and not others?

Maybe it's the one-liners, ''You like your girls like you like your underwear: dirty!"

Maybe it's the dance music.

Maybe' it's Snookie's addiction to eating pickles (literally and figuratively).

Maybe it's the idiotic, yet catchy nicknames: J-WOWW, The Situation, Snookers (a nickname of a nickname).

Maybe it's the gel.

Whatever it is, it's working. And I have found myself sitting on my couch tonight, impatiently waiting for the finale to come on.

Pop culture, you've claimed another victim.

Sticks and stones my break my bones, but fist pumping is a good exercise for your biceps! (for those of you who don't know how to do the fist pump, click here to conform)