I want that today!

"I want that today!! I want that today!!" I was screaming and throwing a huge, effing fit. Feet stomping, nostrils flaring. Oooh I was pissed. I was three. And I totally can't even remember what I wanted, but whatever it was, I remember wanting it badly. "I want that today!! I want that todaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!" My dad still teases me over that tantrum to this day. It was foreshadowing for what was to come.

"I want that today" morphed into "I deserve it." Now that little mantra has gotten me into some big trouble throughout the years. I'm not going to lie- I'm still paying for the things I "deserved" in college in the form of a high interest rate and credit card debt.

When life got stressful in college, I turned to the mall. And Target. And the bar with the giant margaritas. I was "earning" pedicures, shoes, perfume and also putting all my living expenses on the little piece of plastic too. Looking back, I don't know how I could have thought my life was so difficult that I needed to relieve stress in such an ignorant way. "Deserving" something became a way to justify frivolous purchases and unnecessary spending. It was an excuse to be stupid with money. Nowadays, I would kill to have the "stressors" I had in college.

Now that the bill is finally getting paid, I have learned more constructive (and free) ways of dealing with stress; exercise being number one. It's amazing what a good run or weight lifting session can do to your spirit after a hard day of work. It has kept me sane during the most stressful work season I can recall since entering the work force 10 years ago (only 40 more years till retirement! But who's counting?). Number two would be kicking my feet up on the couch and doing absolutely nothing. Three would be reading and writing (ahhhh).

Today, I had a long, hectic day at work- meetings were running late and going sideways, phones were ringing, my inbox was bursting, and people were needing more and more and more things from me. I already did an hour of overtime and it STILL wasn't enough to make ends meet.

I rushed out the doors as my boss was trying to flag me down for yet, another task. I had already tried to explain to him that I had a hair appointment to get to (which was scheduled right after work, on the other side of Seattle, during rush hour) but of course a bald man can't possibly understand the importance of this. Trying to explain the importance of getting your hair done to a man with hair is hard enough. So I said screw it, and walked out.

So there I was on the freeway, rushing rushing rushing, cutting off cars, flipping off motorists. And to my astonishment, I got to the hair place early (sorry for being a hazard on the road, folks).

But by the time I pulled up the parking brake, I realized I was completely famished. I was irritable from my day at work, I was starving and PMSing. Not a good way to enter a salon. That's just bad mojo. I was sure to end up looking like Captain Kangaroo.

So I decided to put the car in reverse and go stake out my food options. That's when I passed Dick's. For those of you unfamiliar with Seattle's fast food scene, Dick's is a 50's style walk-up diner with the second best burgers, fries and shakes in the Northwest (the BEST burgers, shakes and fries would be at Red Mill Burger. Why? Because I said so. Shove it!).

Since I've been training for a half marathon, I've been eating really healthy, and unfortunately that should pretty much ban me from even looking at a Dick's restaurant. But.....I DESERVED IT! I WANT THAT TODAY!!

My mantra came back, and I caved. I was like Magda needing Sweet and Sour Pork except I wasn't a bitch about it (see blog entry "Thank you! Come again!"). After weeks of eating super healthy, I devoured the greasy burger, dominated the salty fries, and annihilated the strawberry shake. It felt sooo good. AND my $5.50 won't be earning any interest, thank you very much.

Eating that burger felt like I had just come out of meditation. My mojo was good. I was ready to enter the salon.

I walked in with a free spirit and an open mind, and walked out the Black and Japanese version of Reese Witherspoon. I think it's safe to say that I deserved that today :)

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but greasy burgers and a haircut will soothe the PMSing soul.