Friday, Bloody Friday

The "Credit Crucifix" by R. Lloyd Ming.

This is the second in a three (or four)-part series (I haven't made up my mind yet) on consumerism. 

I am a Black Friday virgin. But I always look forward to watching the news that day. For those 24-hours, you get to see human behavior at its worst; Surveillance camera footage documents people flooding the stores during a time of day when most people are sleeping off their Thanksgiving hangovers.

Fists are thrown over the last $5 foot massager and $4 nose-hair clippers as consumerism explodes into a pandemonium only previously reserved for political uprisings. You hear of people getting trampled and dying, and getting shot over Tickle Me Elmo.

Even store employees are getting caught in the cross fire, with one WalMart employee dying on black Friday two years ago. Well...maybe it was their fault for working at WalMart. But still. The news footage always looks like an episode of Super Market Sweep: Looting Edition.


Sure we talk about the gravity of children throwing tantrums when they don't get their way, but on Black Friday, adults throw the biggest tantrums of them all. In fact, any time there is some kind of deal, adults seem to be throwing tantrums. I can unfortunately recall a moment during my first job as a sample lady (shut up), when adults were yelling and fighting over the last sample on the table. I was 16 years-old and trying to reassure a group of grown adults that there would be more bite-sized corn dogs ready in just five minutes if they would just be patient. I quickly learned that the words "free sample" and "patience" are never to be used in the same sentence. I had to get the store manager involved. Who knew corn dogs could ignite death threats?


So why are we all so hell bent on getting free things? Do we even need that 400-calorie sample of corn dog? History reveals that no, no we don't.

It wasn’t until the mass manufacturing boom of the Industrial Revolution that regular, everyday people began to buy things simply for the enjoyment of having them. Manufacturers could produce products more cheaply if done in bulk, and a surplus resulted. The idea of owning things for pleasure came from the need to sell these surplus items (and the greed to fatten wallets).  


Sure, there have always been the privileged elite that could buy things for the pleasure of it, but this was not a mindset of the common folk. You only purchased what was needed. (If you’re a nerd, and the history and psychology of consumerism interests you (as it does me), you should listen to this podcast. I was intrigued).

In fact, history confirms that we've been duped by some greedy person's business scheme, yet again. And again. And again. I haven't felt this duped since finding out that Al Gore was not the real inventor of the Internet.

While our bad behavior tends to come out most on Black Friday, the rest of the year, many adults don’t feel they have to punch each other to get what they want. In fact, they don't feel they have to deprive themselves at all. One interesting article claims that credit card debt has more than doubled since 2000, fooling the consumer into thinking there's nothing they can't afford. Experian reported in 2008 that the average American is $16,635 in debt, excluding mortgages. While there was no mention of student or car loans, that’s still a hefty bill to foot.


Even with all of the tricks of the trade being revealed, I’ve been considering joining the Black Friday crowd this year, armed with my little can of pink mase (I never said I was above any of this consumerism stuff. Just pointing out some interesting facts). I may not even buy anything. I may just go as a martyr to my passion for journalism so I can be on the front-lines of the battle field. It will be a good resume builder as an aspiring war correspondent. Or maybe I will just give in to all of the crazy deals - I am on a budget this holiday season.


Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Black Friday may also break my bones.